A Hillary Clinton Super Fan Speaks Out

by Brittany Handler

Monday night. The presidential debates. The moment I have been waiting for this entire election cycle.   

Now for those of you that don’t know, I’m a Hillary Clinton super fan. Like take the biggest Bernie Bro you know out there and how he has Bernie tattooed to his right bicep and his apartment is covered in Bernie posters, Bernie playing cards, Bernie greeting cards, Bernie mugs, Bernie paper doll books, Bernie haiku books, etc.? Change it to Hillary and you’ve got me. Minus the tattoo because Jews are technically not allowed to get tattoos AND I’m also scared of anything too permanent in my life, but this isn’t a psychoanalysis of me!

I have loved Hillary since the days of First Lady Hillary, when she was still Hillary Rodham before people were furious at her for not taking her husband’s name. I have been inspired by Hillary since then—a powerful woman leader of this world who doesn’t back down for anyone or anything. A woman who has been accused of being too emotional or not being emotional enough, of being too shrill or being too quiet, of cackling too much when she laughs or not smiling enough, of all of those thousands and thousands of double standards we women deal with on a daily basis.  But Hillary did not let this stop her.

Growing up in a pretty conservative area, I felt a LOT of these double standards all the time. I was always told I couldn’t do things because I was a girl. People constantly undermined my intelligence because I joked around a lot and liked clothes and shopping and so I obviously couldn’t be SMART too!!!!! At school I was constantly talked over and ignored for my original thoughts and opinions. If I spoke up for something I believed in or for some injustice I was witnessing (rural Missouri has a lot of those…we’ll get more of that on a later day), I was always being told to “calm down” or not to get so “worked up.”

Hillary was my girl. I saw myself in her. She believed in what she fought for. She ignored the people who tried to bring her down and proved them wrong with every step of her career.

For 25 years Hillary Rodham Clinton has been in the public eye and scrutinized for every last thing she has done. And yet here she is, 25 years later and closer to the White House than any woman in the history of our country has been. And this Monday, she will be debating the worst orange sun demon monster that constantly has more and more racist, xenophobic, fear mongering, garbage pouring out of every orifice of his body every day.

But I can’t wait.

Honestly, running against Donald Trump is so HILLARY. She doesn’t half ass anything in her life and hasn’t for her over two decade long career. It is so typical of her to be running against Donald Trump. I know she didn’t choose to run against Trump (but god what an embarrassment that the American people did), but if she’s going for it, she is GOING FOR IT.

I know these debates are going to be Hillary being her smart, passionate, brilliant self while Donald Trump rambles about Monica Lewinsky and Benghazi and emails and how Hillary wears pant suits. And I know the debate will be a lot of Hillary having to fact check Trump (because the media continually fails to do so) rather than talk about her own policies. 

As a Hillary super fan, I know that Hillary is at her best when she is speaking candidly—when she is using her brilliant mind and talking about stuff that she knows so much about. I cannot wait to see her battle this small-minded fuckface alien posing as a human with her brilliance and composure. 

So buckle your seat belts everyone and hunker down Monday night with some popcorn and your favorite glass of wine and watch as the woman who has inspired me my entire life takes down Donald Trump.