Top 5 Political Halloween Costumes that Aren’t Donald Trump or Ken Bone

 

Once again, like two party buses sidling up next to each other and transforming into one huge party bus, Halloween and election season are coinciding. It’s time to tear up that George Bush mask, to burn the huge Binder that you tried to fill with women but it didn’t exactly work, throw out that Sarah Palin costume that was also Tina Fey depending on who you were talking to. This is a new year, and boy oh boy has this election season been full of inspiration for awesome Halloween costume ideas. Here are just a few:

Mike Pence or Tim Kaine

This costume idea is stolen directly from a tweet by writer Emma Roller

In honor of the most boring, white bread VP candidates yet, dress up as a jar of mayo (I’m not a costume making genius, you figure it out) and go as either Mike Pence or Tim Kaine. It really doesn’t matter which one you pick.

Basket Full of Deplorables

This one comes courtesy of Hillary Clinton. Just buy a large basket and either carry it around or hang it around your neck. What you fill it with is entirely up to you and your definition of “deplorable.” If you want to be super popular at the party you’re going to, fill it with drugs and booze and porn and rap mix CDs and other looked down upon stuff. If you want to be super authentic about it, get a bunch of barbie dolls and action figures and glue pictures of Trump supporters on them.

Sad Joe Biden

The best 8 years of Joe Biden’s totally rad life are coming to an end. He’s losing a best friend because, even though Barack promises that he’ll call all the time and they’ll get together for an epic road trip next summer, we all know that that isn’t going to happen.

For this costume, put on your best suit and some aviators. Get some red Solo cups, maybe a ninja star or two, but the piece-de-resistance will be those totally adorable friendship bracelets that say Barack and Joe on them. You can probably buy some sort of kit to make them with at a craft store.

Member of the Alt-Right

Ah, yes, America’s favorite neo-nazi movement. If you don’t know about the Alt-Right, you can read about them in this great profile published in my alma mater’s newspaper: http://www.montanakaimin.com/features/the-year-of-the-deplorable-how-the-alt-right-is/article_e7018aac-8e5a-11e6-8f42-5fb286c18a9e.html

There are plenty of interpretations for this costume. You can make a mask and go as Pepe the frog with Trump hair. You can get your hands on a MAGA hat, grow out your neckbeard, and make a sign that denounces the wussification of the American male. Or take it the conspiracy theorist route and get yourself some Infowars gear and a bottle labelled “October Surprise” on the outside. Pass it around at the party and people will be disappointed when it’s just Kool-aid.

Lazy Millennial 3rd Party Voter

The neo-liberals’ favorite whipping boy. A vote for a 3rd party candidate is a vote for Trump. In fact, it’s probably worse than a vote for Trump because it means you’re traitor scum. Dress up as this totally scary monster that’s ruining America if you want to really freak some people out.

I didn’t actually end up voting 3rd party, but this costume is basically me, so if you want to show up at my apartment and borrow some clothes that’s totally fine. Just wear my possibly unwashed clothing and slap on a Stein, Johnson, or McMullin button, and you’re good to go. Spoooooooooky.