The Best Damn Pulled Pork This Side of the Atlantic

The learned have long debated amongst themselves over what the perfect meal is. At various times dishes as everyday as pizza and macaroni & cheese have held the mantle, while scholars living during adventurous epochs have handed the title to such outré dishes as steak tartare or even flan. The current title holder of perfect meal is the first dish to have truly earned its place in the pantheon. That dish? Pulled pork.

Pulled pork, whether you’re eating it on a screened-in Georgia veranda, chowing down in the backroom of a freezing Chicago diner, or masticating on a blanket in California is the perfect food; amazing on its own and yet endlessly customizable. One thousand different ways to prepare it and all of them worth trying. And best of all? Not outrageously expensive.

So let’s make some damn pulled pork.


3 lbs Pork – Shoulder or butt is best, but a regular ass roast is good as hell too. Pork is currently cheap as hell so what is usually the most expensive part of the meal should only put you back like 7/8 bucks depending on how fancy you want your cut. You could also use loin, but that’s an insane rich person thing to do. My guess is boneless pork chops would even work, but that seems dumb. Honestly, the only cuts that wouldn’t work are bacon/ham.

1 Large Onion – Red or White baby, whatever you want.

3 tbsps Salt – Sea

3 tbsps Pepper – What’s black and white and red all over? The pepper that’s going onto this pig.

1 tsp Mustard powder – Mustard is underrated as hell.

4 Garlic Cloves (minced) – It’s not a good recipe without garlic.

1/4 cup Brown Sugar

1/4 cup Red Wine Vinegar

1/4 cup Honey

3 tbsps Olive Oil



Unless you get up way before you get to work, or don’t work, or work on the weekend or whatever, you will want to prep the night before. You’ll also need a dang crockpot. If you don’t have one, get one, because they’re dope.

First of all, make sure your pork is room temp. Pat it down with paper towels to take off those extra juices. If it won’t fit into the crockpot as is, cut it into two pieces so it will.

Cut the onion in half and put it at the bottom of the crockpot.

Mix all the spices, garlic and brown sugar together. Rub all the sides of the pork with that shit. Let it sit for like 5 minutes. Pour some olive oil on your hands, so they won’t reek of garlic for the next month.

Combine the honey, vinegar, and olive oil together.

Place the rubbed pork on top of the onion in the crockpot.

Pour the honey, vinegar, olive oil mixture on top. Don’t worry about it being on the bottom. It’s chill.

If you’re making this the night before, sock it into the fridge overnight.

 Turn the crockpot on and cook it on low for 8 hours. It’ll be done when you can pull it apart with a fork.

Serve with bread and butter pickles on a toasted bun.

This pulled pork doesn’t need BBQ sauce, but if you really want it, of course you can put some on, you fiend.