This is a column intended to extinguish any of those life questions you can’t seem to get answered to your satisfaction. Your queries are my candies. Taste the uncertainty.
What do you do with your arms when there are no rests?
Dear Meat Loaf,
If there are no rests, you need to keep the song going and keep playing your instrument until the song is over. If you are the conductor-dude, work up that ability to keep your arms up. Stamina and endurance are necessary when leading an orchestra. What an inane question. I’m very disappointed Meat Loaf. You should know better.
J. Please help. This has been on my mind for days. Why isn’t the heart symbol shaped like the heart organ?
- Valve Kilmer
Dear Al Franken,
Back in the day, when the heart shape was conceived, the motor function needed to draw such an intricate design as the human heart had not yet developed. So people thought… what’s the next best thing? Well, it might surprise you, or it might not - It was the Butt. The butt was and and is a mysterious, and rotund, anatomical delight. Our natural, and often primordial instinct, finds a generous rump curve to be very attractive. When a person has a moist bottom and sits on a hard surface, perhaps that of a flat boulder, you would find the outline of your fart box will much resemble that of a heart.
As love for applebottoms have only grown over time, there has been no need for for the known symbol of the heart to change for anatomical accuracy.