The Mandela Effect
I read a TON when I was little. Like my punishment when I would get in trouble wasn’t being grounded, because my mom knew I would just go to my room and be happy reading. My mom would instead take my books away from me because that was the most devastating thing she could do.
Some of the first books I read were the Berenstain Bears books. My mom kind of thought they were stupid, but I liked them.
Woah hold up. Did any of you notice I called these books Berenstain Bears? And you were like, “Brittany it’s BerenSTEIN Bears!!!!!”
Guys. I know. It IS Berenstein Bears. Except that it isn’t.
Apparently it is and always has been Berenstain.
“But Brittany! I KNOW it was BerenSTEIN. Stop messing with us!!”
Guys, I know. I know that too. But go back to your parents’ house right now and look at those old books. They say Berenstain. HOW??
Well there’s actually a theory called the Mandela Effect that explains this.
This theory is called the Mandela Effect because apparently, there is a huge group of people who are absolutely sure that Nelson Mandela died in the 80s while he was in prison. (And now I’m like . . . oh wait, he didn’t?? No, if we all recall, he actually died quite recently, in 2013.) The Mandela Effect therefore tells these theorists that alternate universes MUST exist because a huge group of the population remembers this and swears by this.
While I do know that Nelson Mandela did in fact die in 2013, I also know that the books I read as a child were about the BerenSTEIN Bears.
So this is a huge conspiracy theory. And I’m SO against conspiracy theories because we have facts and science. And facts and science prove conspiracy theories wrong.
IF THESE UNIVERSES EXIST, THAT MEANS HILLARY MUST BE PRESIDENT IN THIS UNIVERSE.
So now my friends, we just need to find this universe. This universe where Nelson Mandela did indeed die in the 80s, where the books we all read were about the BerenSTEIN Bears, where Hillary won the 2016 election, and where whatever the fuck else you want to be true is true. Because this universe rocks, and in it love and compassion won over racism and xenophobia and homophobia and misogyny and bigotry and all those other bad things we are facing!!!
So join me. Join me in the search for this utopian world. And I’ll see you there, with my diet coke that doesn’t actually cause cancer from all the aspartame and eating a cheeseburger that helps burn calories.